Song of My Heart (Writing 101, Day 3)

Captured.

It’s the best word to describe my feelings upon hearing “Worthy of Worship” the first time.  I felt a strong desire to draw myself fully into the act of praising my Savior.

I had recently moved to a new town.  To paraphrase Dickens, this particular season of my life could be described as both the best of times and the worst of times. The reality of divorce and single “mommy hood” was quite overwhelming, and yet I never felt God’s presence more.  Finding God in that hard place made me want to praise Him more. I desired to learn to live my life as an act of worship.

With the move, everything about life became unfamiliar.  Constructing new routines is hard, and even things I normally love and look forward to doing (like church attendance) became more of a challenge. While I loved my new church, often I felt alone in the congregation, not quite at home or comfortable.

Sunday after Sunday, my children and I sat towards the back of the sanctuary. And most weeks, I just asked God to give me the strength to get back to church the following Sunday morning. I wanted to be there, and yet nothing was harder than going to a place where I didn’t completely fit in, at least not yet.

One Sunday morning towards the beginning of the service, the pianist began to play familiar intro to “Worthy of Worship.” Everyone in the congregation was seated. The music minister did not ask us to stand as we began to sing.  Along with everyone else, I sang, enjoying the beauty of the music and the sound of the words.  I certainly felt like I was worshiping God … until the lady on the pew directly in front of me suddenly stood up.

“Why on earth is she standing?” I thought.

I looked around. Everyone else was still seated. No one seemed to be concerned about the lone lady standing. But I certainly was.

While I’m not exactly shy by nature, I do not like to attract attention to myself, especially attention for doing something which might be considered unorthodox or strange or even out of the box. If the truth be told, deep inside I felt ashamed for this lady, who stood when everyone else was seated. I even felt like she was drawing attention to me. I just wanted her to sit back down, so that I could go on worshipping God.

“You can continue to sit here and sing, or you can stand and worship.”

The words were audible, as if the person on the pew behind me had leaned forward and whispered them into my ear. Yet even as I heard them I realized no one near me had spoken. No one else around me heard them either. I knew instantly this was the sound of God’s voice. Though I had heard Him speak to me many times before, I was still surprised to hear His voice again.

My stomach did flips. I felt a little dizzy. For the briefest of moments, I was paralyzed. The Holy Spirit had just given me a choice:  continue to sit and sing, or stand in worship.

Suddenly I found myself standing. Immediately tears began to flow down my cheeks.  I don’t recall if I even sang the words, or if I simply stood … but what I realized as the song came to an end is what I assumed was worshipping God wasn’t even close.

Each time I hear the song Worthy of Worship, I am reminded of the moment I first tasted true worship of my Savior, completely surrendered in my heart, my mind and my soul to Him.

And I am reminded of the wonderful someday when I will get to stand before His throne (or fall face down) and worship at His feet.

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This writing 101 prompt was to write about the three most important songs in your life. However, as I am already behind on the daily assignments (by two days), I figured I would just write about the one song. There are so many others which have personal meaning to me. Maybe I will save those for future posts.

What about you? What song (or songs) have been important in your life?

Is there a particular song God has used to teach you how to worship?