“I see you spent $401 on groceries.”
My husband grinned at me as I walked through the door into the kitchen, four big bags of groceries hanging from my arms.
“How did you know?” I stammered, feeling somewhat irritated. “I just walked in the door from buying all those groceries … and trust me, all 401 dollars worth aren’t in these four bags. Call the kids to come help get all this food inside.” I paused momentarily as Jon called the kids. When he turned back around, I said, “It’s that new banking app, isn’t it. I’m not sure I like that thing.”
“Oh, I like it,” Jon said, giving me a wink. “Now I know the instant you spend any money … exactly how much you spent and where. It’s very convenient.”
My husband’s jovial laugh brightened my mood. Grocery shopping for my horde of seven teens, tweens and toddlers always leaves me feeling depressed and poor. Those weekly trips average two hours and two carts, and it seems as if I still barely return with enough food to keep the masses fed. It’s enough to make any mom feel discouraged!
“Before you get angry with me, I want to remind you that I don’t have that app to keep tabs on you or what you spend. It just helps me to have a better idea of when and where we are spending our money, and its helpful as it is in real-time. Besides, I get alerts when I use my debit card, too.” Jon gave me a winning smile, though his tone was more serious.
“I know,” I sighed. “I still can’t help but feel like my every move is being watched, though.”
Perhaps you remember the reality TV show Big Brother.
The basic premise is a group of people move into a large house together for a short period of time. While there, the house guests are not allowed access to media and are subjected to being monitored at all times by in-house TV cameras and audio microphones.
Viewer tune in to see video footage of the houseguests, doing everything from sleeping to talking to swimming in the house pool. Watching this TV show is sort of like being a fly-on-the-wall.
But imagine that the tables are turned. I don’t know about you, but I can’t fathom living life like that. Someone knowing my every move, every minute of every hour of every day …
Except, there is someone who does exactly that.
In Proverbs 15:3, we read:
The eyes of the LORD are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good.
But is God watching to catch us doing wrong? Is He trying to find fault with us, to bring down His mighty hammer of justice?
No. Not at all.
Consider the words of the Psalmist.
You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely. ~Psalm 139: 1-4
He knows everything I think before I say it. Every misspoken word. Every sarcastic comment. Every hateful remark spoken in anger. God not only sees the ugly nature I am capable of, but He loves me in spite of that.
How do I know?
I know because of Matthew 10:30.
Even the hairs of your head are all numbered.
I love my husband more than any other person on the planet. I study him diligently and seek to learn who he is as much as possible. I know that he likes coffee anytime of the day or night, his steaks medium-rare, and salty treats over sweet. Jon wants clothes folded and put away, the floors and walkways in our house cleared of clutter, and dinner every night at 5:30 pm. He might be satisfied driving in his little Kia four-door car, but he wishes he had a truck … but he isn’t willing to go into more debt to get one for himself.
I know a lot about that man of mine, but I do not know how many hairs are on his head. What an incredibly intense sort of love to know a person so intimately as to have their hairs numbered!
So while I might not feel grateful for my husband’s new banking app that allows him to keep up with my spending in real-time, I am very thankful that God is omniscient … and that He isn’t all-knowing so that He can find ways to condemn me, but rather to prove His love for me, which He did by providing a way to reconcile me to Himself in spite of my sin which separates me from God.
Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit. ~ Psalm 147:5