Yesterday afternoon about 1:30 the phone call finally came.
Our paperwork is complete. Jon and I are officially logged into the foster care system and available to take a child into our home.
Whew! For a while, I wasn’t sure it was ever going to happen. Those first few weeks, everything flew into place. I couldn’t seem to get it to all slow down.
And then everything came to a sudden halt.
Not only did things not move forward. It even seemed we were taking steps back. I found myself questioning our motives and wondering if we were up to the challenge. A minor family crisis involving one of our five children almost made us decide to close the door on this ministry.
But we decided to wait on God and let Him either close or open the door.
We waited and watched … and very slowly the last few steps were accomplished in an orderly manner.
And with that one phone call, I sat back and breathed a big sigh, “It’s finished!”
I only thought it was finished yesterday. What was finished was nothing more than the beginning.
Today the phone rang again. Almost at the same exact time.
Again, it was our foster care worker with news … two kids on their way to our home.
And suddenly, just as quickly, all the relief of yesterday vanished. My heart is turning in a million directions. I’m overwhelmed with nerves and heartache, while at the same time eager to do what God has asked me and my family to do.
Any time a child is placed into foster care, there has been a tragedy. An awful thing has happened. And yet to have the chance to love on these two precious babies is an opportunity I want to embrace.
I’ve got just an hour to get ready. I’ve got just a few minutes to get things together. There are a million things to do, or so it seems. Put the crib together. Straighten in the nursery and make sure there is nothing a toddler shouldn’t have laid about. Baby proof the living room. Start supper because I imagine cooking once they arrive will be hard to accomplish. And yet I sit here writing …
Because my heart is breaking… Two babies ripped out of their home … so even though they are coming to me where I will keep them safe and fed and hopefully happy, these two precious ones have already been through something terrible to bring them to my door.
Because my heart is anxious… Will I have enough energy for this? Can my family take the stress and strain of caring for two small children? Are we going to regret this decision or will it be the best thing we’ve ever done?
Because my heart is filled with excitement… God has asked me and my family to dare to love and we’ve said yes. It’s always thrilling to see how God will use us and there is a part of me expecting great and wonderful things.
Yesterday, when I thought those words, “it is finished,” I recalled how those were the final words Jesus uttered on the cross. We call that day Good Friday, not because His suffering was good but because through it all humanity gained salvation.
Today is a good Friday in my home and in my life. Not that it begins to compare to the Good Friday of Easter, but rather because it signifies that we are following God in faith, dependent upon Him to meet our every need in this endeavor.
It’s good because God will meet us where we are and will give us all we need. This much I know to be true.
Still … if you think of the two babies heading to my home and of my family as we welcome them with love, I would love knowing you are praying with us and for us.
Because we’ve not finished anything. We’ve only just begun.